27TH SUNDAY: CHRIST SAYS, “BUT FROM THE BEGINNING…” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR MARRIAGE?

In the introduction of his book, Be Devoted, Bob Schuchts writes, “Deep down, we all want to be loved and to love in this way – with affection. We want a mutual love that is true and dedicated, but at the same time passionate and intimate. This kind of love expresses God’s heart for each one of us. I believe it is also the kind of love he desires for every marriage.” That’s the truth, we all want to be loved and to have the capacity to love. The teachings on marriage are the same ageless truths! They predate Christ's coming, which he reaffirms in today’s gospel, “But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female” (Mk. 10:6).

The gospel was clear when it defined what the beginning meant, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him, nothing was made that has been made” (Jn. 1:1-3). The beginning refers to God’s wonderful plan for humanity, the divine declaration of man’s quest for connection. Hence, God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him” (Gen. 2:18). In giving Eve to Adam, God blessed him with a suitable partner, someone who would be valued and who would value him with genuine affection. Therefore, Eve became Adam’s strength and THE existential connection with each other and God.

The Hebrew word used to denote “helper” is ezer, mostly referring to the help which only God can give. In the case of Adam, the phrase kenegdo is used to qualify ezer. Kenegdo refers to the one who “corresponds to,” the one who is “counterpart.” The woman is the kenegdo ezer, the real counterpart to the man. None of the animals could serve as Adam’s kenegdo ezer, only the woman. Adam’s exclamation, “Aha, this one at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh,” demonstrates the strength of their conjugal relationship as ordained by God; “The two shall become one flesh” - kenegdo ezer for each other.

How do we interpret the question regarding marriage and divorce in today’s context? Christ’s response to the Jews takes them back to the beginning, “What did Moses command you?” Moses only yielded to their cultural and religious pressures as we see in various forms of pressure on traditional marriage in our time. We may also ask, “What does the state say today about marriage and divorce? What does the government say? What does the media say?” Do these point us to the beginning? Possibly, divorce seems more favored for the Gen-Z to the point that we rarely think about the kenegdo ezer, the beginning as intended by God.

Christ says, “What God has joined together, no man must separate.” As a priest and a marriage and family therapist, I feel sad watching couples go through struggles that end up splitting their union. Yes, some marriages get to a point when they seem no longer healthy. From a human point of view, the man and the woman do not feel anything for each other anymore. Sometimes, this happens for obvious reasons, while at other times, for reconcilable differences. It can be hard to imagine how couples in conflict make it with each other when a union fails to satisfy their basic need for connection. At that point, the intention to find in each other a suitable helpmate, a kenegdo ezer, crashes. It breaks my heart to hear a spouse say, “Sorry, I’m done. I’m out of this marriage.”

However, at the end of Mark’s gospel encounter (10:2-16), Jesus used the image of children to teach a strong lesson, “Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it." The question would be to identify what the image of children has to do with a contentious discussion on marriage in that scripture passage. Here’s one way to look at it. When God created Adam, Adam’s soul was pure and undefiled, filled with what has been described as “Original Love.” Adam was able to love like God. He was able to cherish Eve just the way God intended for him. Adam was a representation of the childlike spirit that conveyed love in its pure and serene form. Then the fall happened which altered the beginning thereby truncating man’s will from knowing and loving as God willed.

Christ invites us to embrace the hearts of children. Being like little children can help us to return to the Beginning, to realize our absolute dependence on God who is the “author of marriage” (CCC 1603). The beginning is an invitation to seek the presence of the Holy Spirit, “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Gal. 5:22-23). The beginning is that voice urging us to seek God’s will in our relationships. For your marriage, the beginning can be sought through prayer, pursuing exquisite beauty and affection through God’s help. It takes the heart of a child to return to the very beginning. Hear Jesus say this again, “Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it” (Mk. 10:16).

READINGS: 1ST- GEN. 2:18-24; 2nd- HEB 2:9-11; GOSPEL- Mk. 10:2-16